Rage Against The Shadow Of A Goddamned Doubt

The false gods are fallen, broke down, bawlin’
Too late to keep the faith when heaven is callin
No trumpet sounds to downtown; the dark water soiled it
like acid rain swirling drains, but looka’, fast forward
to Oshun drowned beneath waves of garbage
to a brotha' named J-sun who walked on water
or Fort Knox, the golden boy you caught with your daughter
and fashion plate A-shone, the pilot through rubble
2el Farrar's cinematic hip-hop furrows
The soulful ballad sounds from Poetic Justice
to Slayer-man, gun in hand to protect little lambs
and Santa Klaus’s ill shadow on a rant again 
My faith in God so strong, made me wonder, Lawd
what about the son of thunder
and the words whispered wickedly behind enemy lines
we took the weapons from them Shadow Dudes and blew they minds
gripped doubts tight as big booty on Fridays night
in the Valley of Dry Bonez, stood tall and spit wize
the strangest of words and I made sure they heard
 I doubt
     I doubt I’ll fail again
I doubt I’ll know a fight I won’t win
I doubt I’ll spend three more months in corporate chains
Or the world will go a year not knowin' my name
I doubt I’ll go on six months before I meet that hon
Smiling face angelic, blessed by the sun
doubt my pen won’t change the world
doubt not the Sun, spite of what you heard 
Embrace the moon, as a son of the knight
They say, "Step out of the boat, Bro', Run to that life"
But I await the Good Lord to bid me come
So if I don’t tread rough shod on ocean blue
I’m playin’ blackjack with hurricanes till six past June
Didn’t I wonder why I been feelin' so dozed under 
I just wondered when the Sun would Say
 
"Now is the come up"

1 May 2006

excerpt from: Seeing Eden

     They sent me back to work.  They sent me back to the gray box of shame and degradation, then re-connected me to a machine.  I sat in a meeting with my brother, James, who worked in another department across the hall.  We met with my boss, who had been his boss until he moved his way up the ant pile.   

     I sat in her office, stared into a space

between her and me and pretended to listen to whatever they were babbling on about.  It sounded like the adult characters in a Charlie Brown cartoon.  Indistinct words belched out into the already verbally polluted atmosphere -blahblahblahblah- and it meant something to them, but it was utter nonsense to me.  I just sat there pretending I was a normal person -pretending- like I had learned to do decades ago when I realized that I didn’t fit in.  I pretended.  The big stupid smile lit my dark circular face like a star atop a hideous black Christmas tree.  I wore my glasses as part of my disguise.  Like a coffee colored Kal El pretending to be Superman, pretending to be Clark Kent.  I pretended that I wanted to be back at the place that terrified me, the place that had stressed me out and tried to kill me.  I thought, when it found out that I had survived the unimaginable murder attempt, that I somehow trudged onward after the death of my art and my dreams, it would try to kill me again.  Instead, it welcomed me back with opened arms, embraced me at the door and smiled whispering to me “Welcome Back, zombie”.  I tripped grinning and foolish back into its trap.  I knew it would take a second shot at the dreamer.  It sent its invisible assassins -mediocrity and necessity- back to their posts upon the high towers, commanded them to get the metaphasic cannons loaded and cocked for another shot.